Living Well is The Best Revenge

The best revenge is living well. I don’t know who said that but that is one of my favorite sayings. It is also something I find I must keep reminding myself. Let’s admit it, life is not always smooth and wonderful. We may be doing what seems to be all the right things, yet we will still run into others who interfere with our happiness, or at least attempt to do so, and may even feel we are being sabotaged. And the word ‘attempt’ is key here because as most of us already know, we cannot control the behavior of others, we can only control how we react to it. So how do we stop all of this seeming interference with our best plans. Though I don’t claim to have all the answers, I do feel it is possible to live a great life AROUND all of this chaos. Discovering how to control our own reactions to lower-energy people is the first step. (That is the first step but it comes after we truly recognize the awful behavior of others and not to sugar-coat it. Too often people delude themselves into giving people the benefit of the doubt while they are being royally used and abused. And it is not easy to admit to ourselves that we have been used, perhaps for a long time, by so called friends or even family.) There are many ways to do this, but the first is to stop focusing on the poor behavior of these kinds of people. In other words, shifting our focus away from what we don’t want and instead focusing on what we actually do want to have. When we do that, we are putting our energy into where we want the results. As the great Dr. Wayne Dyer has said, “you get what you think about.” That is it in a nutshell. Of course we must manage the things that inevitably do go wrong and if others are creating some havoc for us, we must manage that. But we learn to do all of that AND to maintain the focus on our ‘best laid plans’ or the formation of them. Like anything, this takes practice.
The next step is to learn to manage our own lives better. I’ve heard it said that none of us knows what we are doing. Some of the most privileged and powerful people in the world have made some of the worst decisions. We all do this. A choice that seems well thought out at first may go terribly wrong. Too often, we go on to make the next mistake which is to blame ourselves for the mistake. Instead, chalking it up to experience, allowing ourselves to learn from it, and moving on is the best way to handle any mistake. Blame and guilt help no one and can prevent us from moving on in our lives. But making mistakes is how we learn and by accepting that, we will move on to learn how to create the things in our lives that we are choosing to have.
We can and do learn from our past. Becoming a wise old person is a far better place to land than to become an old fool.
So to put it in a few words:
Know that there are really awful people who will use and abuse anyone, including you.
If they create havoc in your life, do not blame yourself for these mistakes, instead learn from them, move on to something better.
Do work on managing the chaos or havoc that results.
Keep your focus on the things you want, not on what you don’t want or did wrong.
It is often easier to be tricked by others than most of us want to admit. If you are fully engaged in creating and living a great life, you will likely come up against and be fooled by some really awful people. . Know that some of the most intelligent and powerful people in the world have been taken. Learn to be aware of these things without being overly guarded or controlling of yourself and others. Realize life is short and as has been said, ‘life is but a dream,’ so why not have fun. We can enjoy having a great life around all of this And as we do, we learn indeed that the best revenge truly is living well.

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2 thoughts on “Living Well is The Best Revenge

  1. Perfectly said, Ellen, thank you. I have been struggling this week with feeling used and what would be the best way for me to respond to that and stay in my personal integrity. Your words were divinely sent for me <3

  2. Pingback: well, hello there | Susan scribes . . .

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