The Kind Home, A Magical Home

 

By Ellen Bergstrom – Greenbridge

 

Our homes are very important.  Not in the sense of how expensive and luxurious they are.  But they are important in how they make us feel, those who live with us, including our animal companions and those who visit us.  How do you feel when you arrive home, perhaps after working for a period of time?  Do you feel good returning to your home? Do you feel safe, comfortable, and cozy?  Or do you feel burdened to return perhaps to a home that is chaotic, messy, cluttered, filled with chores to be done, worries about bills to be paid or family or friends, etc.

Certainly, we must all be doing chores in our home.  As in the book, Chop Wood, Carry Water,   becoming enlightened does not give you a chore-free life.  Our chores will always be with us during our earthly lives.  The secret is in learning to enjoy the chores of our daily life through the practice of mindfulness.  But that is another story and I wish here to explore creating a home that is as wonderful to live in and come home to, a ‘Kind Home.’  Coming home should feel like exhaling, like saying aaahhh.  When you come home, you want to be able to feel like you are surrounded by cozy, comforting, lovely, cheerful, supporting surroundings and people who care about you.  Home is a place where you relax and rejuvenate.  Home is also a place where you make plans for your future, distance and close.  Home is place to just live, just be with those who live with you or simply be yourself.

As I’ve already said, you need not live in a luxurious mansion to have a wonderful home.  You may own a small bungalow, rent a small apartment or have a single room.  It is still your home, your haven, your place.  And you can make it look and feel like an amazing place to live.

If your home is currently none of those wonderful things I’ve mentioned so far, that can change faster than you might imagine.  ‘Imagine’ is the key word here.  Remember the song, Imagine, by John Lennon.  Imagination has a strong impact and is the first step in beginning anything.  So snap your fingers now! Snap! Your new home and wonderful life has just begun.

Changing your home to become a place you love does not have involve spending a lot of money.  Read a book on Feng Shui, or just borrow one, from a friend or library. Or Google it and find many articles to read online.  You’ll easily learn a few ways to just rearrange your place to reflect beauty.  Feng Shui is an ancient art and has the philosophy that one’s life is determined by the arrangement of objects in the home as well as the cleanliness of the home.  If you feel you need to add things to your home and have a limited budget, try one of the second hand shops that are sprouting up everywhere, such as Good Will and Salvation Army Shop. Or search rummage/garage sales, EBay, Craigslist, the possibilities are endless.  Many people are reporting finding wonderful treasures in those ways.  And be sure to throw away things that no longer reflect who you are.  Throw away things that maybe someone gave you and you really don’t like or things you didn’t like after you brought them home.  They will only make you unhappy or feel irritated when looking at them.  You want to have things that invoke positive emotions in you; things that make you feel cheerful when you look at them because somehow they represent a happy state of being for you.  I do not mean to imply here that things make you happy.  In and of themselves, ‘things’ never will.  Only you can make you happy.  You are totally in charge of that.  But  isn’t it easier to look at a warm crackling fire in a fireplace, sitting on a comfortable sofa in a beautifully colored room, than a dank, cold place that is devoid of color, warmth or perhaps the opposite, screaming of loud, clashing ugly colors, cluttered with old newspapers, food wrappers, foul odors, and on and one. Yuk! (Yes, we do have the right to mess up our homes.  After having a great party, after working all week, sometimes we need to just lie down and relax.  Cleaning will come later.  I do not believe there is a problem with that as it is temporary.  You need not push yourself to work at cleaning when you need rest.  And it won’t be pretty if you do.)

We all have a different taste so you decide if you prefer the modernistic look of all white or the monochromatic look or the comfortable, colorful look of a cottage style or whatever.  I prefer to think of the style of my home as whimsical, romantic, country cottage witch.  Yes, quiet a mouthful.  But my home makes me happy.

Now where to start with your home, your life.  Start by cleaning.  Not the proverbial ‘dredge’ of ‘now I must clean it up,’ kind of thing.  Do a magickal cleaning. Doing it this way, makes it exciting.  Magickal ways always are if they are truly magickal.   Using natural items such as vinegar and water, baking soda, salt for the cleaning and the ritual, you first start by the rearranging.  If it all seems too overwhelming, just do one room at a time.  Gather your cleaning supplies and walk into the room.  Close your eyes and imagine a perfectly clean and beautiful room.  Now sort things out, throwing away the things you don’t need or putting them in a pile to recycle or give away.  In fact, if possible, have an area in your home, perhaps the basement or perhaps just a large box, where you place items to be recycled or given away.  Clothing can be put right into the trunk of your car to put into the recycle clothing bins found in so many places these days.  Clearing out the clutter brings in new feelings, better, clearer energies.  Look around and see how you may be able to rearrange things.  Many ideas may begin to pour in, things you will purchase in the future, to make your life and your house-mates lives happier. In the days to come, ideas will continue to come to you.  When this part is completed, at least for the time being, begin the cleaning process. Say, “I now cleanse this room, allow all stale, negative energies to be cleansed away, to leave my home.  And as they leave, I allow beautiful, warm, comforting, loving, prosperous energies to enter my home and my life,” while you are working on the cleaning.   I like to start from top, moving gradually to the floor as the last place.  (Although some say work in a circular manner.) Using a dust mop of some kind, get rid of any cob webs on your ceiling, walls and light fixtures. Shake it off outside.  If things are really dirty, you may need to wash walls and fixtures.  Do not use cleaning supplies with harsh chemicals as that will not bring in what you want.  Murphy’s oil soap, a non-toxic cleaner,  is a soapy substance that can be used in hot water and for stubborn, sticky areas try a metal scrubber or scrub brush if needed, if you are going to repaint that is, because it will leave marks.  Otherwise use the soft scrubbers.  As you are cleaning, say from time to time, “I am cleaning away all the worry, trouble of my life.”  As you clean an area say, “I now allow all good things to come into my home and my life.”  You proceed downward, cleaning off all your things, furniture, objects. Knick- knacks can be help under warm or hot running water and wiped off, or just dipped into a bucket of water and scrubbed.  Even dusty old candles can be cleaned this way.  And finally, cleaning the floor.  If carpeted, consider using a carpet cleaner.  If you don’t have one, you can scrub the old fashion way.  You may also chose to wash your windows.  Best way to do so, use a little vinegar in warm water.  Use of old newspapers to clean and dry windows does wonders.

Once you are done you can conclude with another ceremony. Gather either salt and water (rain water is great) or even burning of an herb such as sage, and walk around sprinkling the water and salt and/or allowing the fumes of the burning herbs, essential oils or incense to permeate the area. Here are a few meanings of using some herbs and essential oils you may wish to use.   There are many more possibilities:  Salt (purifying and grounding); Sage essential oil (purifying); Lemon essential oil (gives energy and a clean smell); Patchouli (brings prosperity — go extra light on this); Pine (brings prosperity and love).  You can use a bell, a shaker, or clap your hands and say, “My home is now perfectly cleansed of all negativity.”   (Perhaps opening the windows to allow the negativity to symbolically leave, can be done as well.)  I see it leaving my home, going out into the world, into the universe to neutralize. Walk around the entire area that has been cleansed and repeat this. Then, pause, sit down and close your eyes, briefly and visualize your home wonderfully cleansed.  Then walk around the home in the same manner with bell, rattle or clapping your hands and announce, “I now allow and invite all wonderful things to enter my home, peace, love, comfort, dreams coming true, prosperity, good health.”  Once again pause and visualize these things on their way into your home and your life.  If you are Pagan, you may wish to do a ceremony to raise energy either at this time or a time soon after.

After this, rest in a comfortable spot or nap in your bed.  Perhaps you will have a dream of the wonderful things that are now on their way into your life.

This ceremony can be adapted for both Christian and Pagan religions, as I have known both well enough to say that.  If you are of another religion, perhaps it can be adapted to your religion or belief system as well.

Pagans may wish to call quarters, Deities and or their Spirit Guides or Totem Animals upon beginning this.  Christians may wish to call upon Christ.  In Pagan thought and religions, cleansing is best done during the waning moon, or the time after the full moon and before the new moon.  Then another ritual for bringing in the things you want can be done during the waxing moon which occurs between the new and full moons.

Brightest Blessings!

Copyright ©, 2012 by Ellen Bergstrom

sider joining my Facebook group, “The Kind Witch.”  We share ideas and experiences that are kind and caring.   You can obtain charged herbs for this or any other non-violent purpose for me.  I have charged spell bags already prepared but will also prepare them for you.  I will also give you instructions for doing a spell for you special purpose.  I will even do the whole spell for you.  In addition, I do readings and healings.  Currently all price are 50% off:

 

Greenbridge Services

Services from a Seasoned Witch

ALL PRICES ARE CURRENTLY 50% OFF LISTED PRICE BELOW

Energy Healing . . . . $60

Readings . . . . . . . .  $50

Spells . . . . . . . . . .   $75

Spell Kits . . . . . . . .  $30

Spell Bags . . . . . . .   $15

Life coaching:  $60 per 45 minute session

*Services currently performed in my home but arrangements can be to perform additional services such as magickal home cleansing, soul retrievals, and a variety of others in your home or other places.

*Some services as Readings and Life Coaching can be done per phone.

*All charges due prior to service or receiving goods.

*Current spell bags available include Love, for either sexual unions or platonic love, prosperity, good luck, health.  Others can be made for practically any non-violent purpose.

**CONTACT ME:

Phone: 810-845-6766

Email: greenbridge36@hotmail.com

Home: By previously arranged appointment only:

11325 Ray Road, Gaines, MI 48436

In person I accept credit cards, cash, checks and money orders.

In mail, I accept all of the above except credit cards.  I will be accepting credit cards online in the near future.

Living Well is The Best Revenge

The best revenge is living well. I don’t know who said that but that is one of my favorite sayings. It is also something I find I must keep reminding myself. Let’s admit it, life is not always smooth and wonderful. We may be doing what seems to be all the right things, yet we will still run into others who interfere with our happiness, or at least attempt to do so, and may even feel we are being sabotaged. And the word ‘attempt’ is key here because as most of us already know, we cannot control the behavior of others, we can only control how we react to it. So how do we stop all of this seeming interference with our best plans. Though I don’t claim to have all the answers, I do feel it is possible to live a great life AROUND all of this chaos. Discovering how to control our own reactions to lower-energy people is the first step. (That is the first step but it comes after we truly recognize the awful behavior of others and not to sugar-coat it. Too often people delude themselves into giving people the benefit of the doubt while they are being royally used and abused. And it is not easy to admit to ourselves that we have been used, perhaps for a long time, by so called friends or even family.) There are many ways to do this, but the first is to stop focusing on the poor behavior of these kinds of people. In other words, shifting our focus away from what we don’t want and instead focusing on what we actually do want to have. When we do that, we are putting our energy into where we want the results. As the great Dr. Wayne Dyer has said, “you get what you think about.” That is it in a nutshell. Of course we must manage the things that inevitably do go wrong and if others are creating some havoc for us, we must manage that. But we learn to do all of that AND to maintain the focus on our ‘best laid plans’ or the formation of them. Like anything, this takes practice.
The next step is to learn to manage our own lives better. I’ve heard it said that none of us knows what we are doing. Some of the most privileged and powerful people in the world have made some of the worst decisions. We all do this. A choice that seems well thought out at first may go terribly wrong. Too often, we go on to make the next mistake which is to blame ourselves for the mistake. Instead, chalking it up to experience, allowing ourselves to learn from it, and moving on is the best way to handle any mistake. Blame and guilt help no one and can prevent us from moving on in our lives. But making mistakes is how we learn and by accepting that, we will move on to learn how to create the things in our lives that we are choosing to have.
We can and do learn from our past. Becoming a wise old person is a far better place to land than to become an old fool.
So to put it in a few words:
Know that there are really awful people who will use and abuse anyone, including you.
If they create havoc in your life, do not blame yourself for these mistakes, instead learn from them, move on to something better.
Do work on managing the chaos or havoc that results.
Keep your focus on the things you want, not on what you don’t want or did wrong.
It is often easier to be tricked by others than most of us want to admit. If you are fully engaged in creating and living a great life, you will likely come up against and be fooled by some really awful people. . Know that some of the most intelligent and powerful people in the world have been taken. Learn to be aware of these things without being overly guarded or controlling of yourself and others. Realize life is short and as has been said, ‘life is but a dream,’ so why not have fun. We can enjoy having a great life around all of this And as we do, we learn indeed that the best revenge truly is living well.

ON KINDNESS AND CALLING OUT INJUSTICE

My journey into learning about kindness takes me to another place.  I have struggled with the idea of injustice all of my life.  I am passionate about injustice and about changing circumstances in our society so it is less likely to continue.  Injustice makes me angry, makes me sad, and makes me want to blame those who commit the injustice, those who are responsible for it.  Does being kind mean one must transcend that anger that naming those who commit these acts, particularly the ones of unspeakable horror and violence toward others, must now stop?  Are we to ‘turn the other cheek’, to forgive and forget?  My answer is a very strong NO!

There are those who say you must turn the cheek, you must forgive.  And some who say the act of forgiveness is for the one who was wronged, that you don’t have to allow the other to commit the act again by remaining in their presence.  In other words, leave the situation such as when an abused spouse leaves her/his abuser.  I have considered all of these ideas and I respectfully, though strongly disagree.  First, the idea of turning the cheek, of allowing an abuser to go and on with the abuse, is to me absurd.  It is much like allowing a spoiled child to continue to behave miserably with others.  The child learns nothing but that they get what they want when they want it.  And these type of children grow up to be really awful people who will always expect to have everything their way and will never rest until that happens, sometimes even when it puts them in prison.  We don’t need those kinds of people in our society, even when they learn to cope enough to stay out the criminal justice system.  They will still be very self-centered and selfish and will make others suffer without taking responsibility for it to get their way.  Many of them fight their way into positions of power and corrupt their work places, their departments, their corporations (remember Enron), and even the world.

The other idea, the idea of ‘leaving the abuser’ to create a better life is only half right in my opinion.  Yes, of course, do not allow the abuse to continue.  Walk away from abusers, the sooner the better.   By why let abusers off?  I am not talking about taking out retribution here, I am talking about claiming the right to tell the world what happened.  The ‘forgive and forget’ idea doesn’t work.  If you have been abused for years whether as an adult or a child, it leaves marks, deep marks on your soul.  Forgetting it and creating the ‘great life’ will not easily happen when you have been indoctrinated to be a ‘less than’ type of person.’  And what I mean by that is something like the Stockholm syndrome.  People in that situation, even those who are most committed to change, will often have an experience of taking a few steps forward, and then a few back.  Sometimes it takes years, even a life time, if ever, to create that satisfying life.  And often, even those who succeed, will continue to suffer bouts of anxiety, depression, and times of extreme self-doubt. 

What I propose is to normalize the feeling that one can move on and claim a right to state that what happened to them was wrong!  I say that strongly as I feel it passionately.  Too often, those of us who suffered abuse in the past are told to come to terms with it.  We are told to ‘get over it’, or even worse, ‘grin and bear it.’  I say no more.  I say we must now be ‘allowed’ by society to openly state how we suffered, that it was wrong and to be able to say it as many times as is necessary for our own healing to take place.

How long is that?  How long does it take to heal?  Perhaps a decade, perhaps 2 decades, perhaps a lifetime, perhaps several lifetimes.  The idea that we are to take a little time to heal and then come out shiny, bright and new a perfect person is ludicrous.

What I do know, is that no one has exactly the same experiences and no one person is exactly the same as another.  Those two variables alone (if you have a basic understanding of mathematics) create a vast number of possible healing experiences.  In other words, only the one who was victimized can state how their own healing will happen.  No one, not even another person who has experienced similar abuse, can tell someone how they must heal and when it is time to be ‘fully recovered’, as if such a thing will ever happen.  We know, by the way from research on adult survivors of child abuse, that we don’t ever ‘forget’ what happens to us.  Instead, we learn that the healing comes by continuing on with the experience remaining as a part of us.  We learn to create lives of fulfillment by allowing that experience rather than by denying it.  Eventually, the better life experience we learn to create overwhelms the bad memories and we learn we have developed a diminished need to revisit the bad times. 

I do not consider this discussion as any kind of ‘final word’ on this subject.  Rather I view it as a beginning of a discussion on dealing with the reality of the cruelty, injustice and violence that exists while being a kind person to others, as well as being kind to ourselves.  In short, kindness doesn’t mean you can’t point out or call out injustice, cruelty and bullies. 

Copyright, 2013 by Ellen Bergstrom

ON KINDNESS AND CALLING OUT INJUSTICE

My journey into learning about kindness takes me to another place.  I have struggled with the idea of injustice all of my life.  I am passionate about injustice and about changing circumstances in our society so it is less likely to continue.  Injustice makes me angry, makes me sad, and makes me want to blame those who commit the injustice, those who are responsible for it.  Does being kind mean one must transcend that anger that naming those who commit these acts, particularly the ones of unspeakable horror and violence toward others, must now stop?  Are we to ‘turn the other cheek’, to forgive and forget?  My answer is a very strong NO!

There are those who say you must turn the cheek, you must forgive.  And some who say the act of forgiveness is for the one who was wronged, that you don’t have to allow the other to commit the act again by remaining in their presence.  In other words, leave the situation such as when an abused spouse leaves her/his abuser.  I have considered all of these ideas and I respectfully, though strongly disagree.  First, the idea of turning the cheek, of allowing an abuser to go and on with the abuse, is to me absurd.  It is much like allowing a spoiled child to continue to behave miserably with others.  The child learns nothing but that they get what they want when they want it.  And these type of children grow up to be really awful people who will always expect to have everything their way and will never rest until that happens, sometimes even when it puts them in prison.  We don’t need those kinds of people in our society, even when they learn to cope enough to stay out the criminal justice system.  They will still be very self-centered and selfish and will make others suffer without taking responsibility for it to get their way.  Many of them fight their way into positions of power and corrupt their work places, their departments, their corporations (remember Enron), and even the world.

The other idea, the idea of ‘leaving the abuser’ to create a better life is only half right in my opinion.  Yes, of course, do not allow the abuse to continue.  Walk away from abusers, the sooner the better.   But why let abusers off?  I am not talking about taking out retribution here, I am talking about claiming the right to tell the world what happened.  The ‘forgive and forget’ idea doesn’t work.  If you have been abused for years whether as an adult or a child, it leaves marks, deep marks on your soul.  Forgetting it and creating the ‘great life’ will not easily happen when you have been indoctrinated to be a ‘less than’ type of person.’  And what I mean by that is something like the Stockholm syndrome.  People in that situation, even those who are most committed to change, will often have an experience of taking a few steps forward, and then a few back.  Sometimes it takes years, even a life time, if ever, to create that satisfying life.  And often, even those who succeed, will continue to suffer bouts of anxiety, depression, and times of extreme self-doubt. 

What I propose is to normalize the idea that one can move on and claim a right to state that what happened to them was wrong!  I say that strongly as I feel it passionately.  Too often, those of us who suffered abuse in the past are told to come to terms with it.  We are told to ‘get over it’, or even worse, ‘grin and bear it.’  I say no more.  I say we must now be ‘allowed’ by society to openly state how we suffered, that it was wrong and to be able to say it as many times as is necessary for our own healing to take place.

How long is that?  How long does it take to heal?  Perhaps a decade, perhaps 2 decades, perhaps a lifetime, perhaps several lifetimes.  The idea that we are to take a little time to heal and then come out shiny, bright and new a perfect person is ludicrous.

What I do know, is that no one has exactly the same experiences and no one person is exactly the same as another.  Those two variables alone (if you have a basic understanding of mathematics) create a vast number of possible healing experiences.  In other words, only the one who was victimized can state how their own healing will happen.  No one, not even another person who has experienced similar abuse, can tell someone how they must heal and when it is time to be ‘fully recovered’, as if such a thing will ever happen.  We know, by the way from research on adult survivors of child abuse, that we don’t ever ‘forget’ what happens to us.  Instead, we learn that the healing comes by continuing on with the experience remaining as a part of us.  We learn to create lives of fulfillment by allowing that experience rather than by denying it.  Eventually, the better life experience we learn to create overwhelms the bad memories and we learn we have developed a diminished need to revisit the bad times. 

I do not consider this discussion as any kind of ‘final word’ on this subject.  Rather I view it as a beginning of a discussion on dealing with the reality of the cruelty, injustice and violence that exists while being a kind person to others, as well as being kind to ourselves.  In short, kindness doesn’t mean you can’t point out or call out injustice, cruelty and bullies.  And sometimes, we usually kind people, may do so with a bit of zeal.

LETTING THE LIGHT SHINE ON THAT JANUARY DULLNESS

Are you feeling rather bored, dull, lacking in energy?  Are you feeling that you are missing out on something or being left out of something?  Maybe you are feeling down or depressed.  January often brings on the so-called ‘winter doldrums’.  This time of year, we have put away the Yule/Christmas decorations and our homes and work places now seem dull in comparison.  Additionally, the weather feels depressing for many, cold, with snow and ice and gray skies. Those of you who work to manage depression may have found ways to stave it off this time of year, only to find yourself fall back into the same patterns of sadness or depression. This can happen particularly if you have an unfortunate situation that triggers a loss for you.  Some things can trigger depression in the most cheerful among us.  What to do?

The most important thing is to start with kindness toward ourselves.  We cannot be of value to anyone if we are sad and depressed.  And we cannot be our true self when we are feeling sad or worthless.  However, do not blame yourself for it either.    Consider that situations will always arise that are not to our liking.  And some of them are so bad, it may trigger a time in our childhood when someone made us feel we were ‘less than.’  Of course, these are all lies!  If you feel overwhelmed, stop your daily activities if possible and take some time to nurture yourself.  Don’t try to stop the sad feelings.  Allow them to come.  Some of us practice Wicca or other Pagan/Neopagan rituals and  doing a ritual to get rid of this negative energy is very effective.  During the dark moon, the period after the full moon but before the new moon, we can have a ritual to release all the dark energy.  In fact, this is a great time of the year for this or releasing anything.  After casting your circle, you can allow the energy to sink down into the earth where it will neutralize.  Between the new moon and the full moon, which is occurring now, you can still release it but also ask that it is replaced with light, positive feelings.  Ask for laughter, joy, cheer, happiness.  Ask to feel loved, to feel included, and to feel a part of something bigger.  Ask for what the next step is to actualize, to realize your happy life.

There are many other things that can be done to bring joy back into your life.  As said here before, do not attempt to stop the negativity.   We take the time to try to understand why it is there so we will be able to cope better with it the next time it comes.  For example, if a negative person has caused you some unhappiness, don’t make them happy by accepting it on their terms.  Consider all your choices in the situation.  Take time to do so, but don’t take too much time.  Don’t let it become a daily habit where we isolate, bask in negatively and don’t venture out to carry out what great things we have decided to do.  Sometimes, we must learn to move with the depression and sadness still within us, to continue on.  When we do that, we find other things, happier things that replace that emptiness which may have seemed to consume us.    But always remember that you are the one in charge.  You know yourself better than anyone.  In other words, you are your own expert on yourself.  So filter any advice even from the best of friends.

Do not ever feel ashamed of your sadness or depression.  Our mainstream culture makes us feel that way, but in reality everyone experiences it at some time or another.  Realize it is a natural part of living.

And one last point.  I have found that when I let go of some things that I think were great, but negative people are trying to force me out, that even better things come in after I let go.  The things that came were even better than I had imagined for myself.  Yes, this has literally happened to me over and over.  I suggest you let it happen to  you as well :)

Copyright © by Ellen Bergstrom, 2013

Ellen Bergstrom – Greenbridge has over 20 years experience as a licensed social worker including work as a therapist, with training and experience in both mainstream and alternaitve practices. In a addition, she is a dedicated, seasoned Witch.   If you would like a reading, individual healing, spell or life coaching, contact her at 810-845-6766 or greenbridge36@hotmail.com

Are We Having Fun Yet? Are We Happy Yet?

Are you rolling on the floor with laughter over your happy life most days?  No? Want to then read on.  Hope everyone is able to have taken some time off as is customary during this time of year to enjoy themselves.  I was trying to push myself to come up with a weekly article but decided it better to relax instead and do some fun things I’ve been putting off doing.  As a result of my ‘play time’ I found some hidden opportunities to meet some of my goals.  I was amazed at first.  Then I remembered how the creative process works.  Part of the creative process has to do with letting go of the “adult thinking” kind of mind many of us ‘responsible’ people are accustomed to using.  While we are doing that, we put off having fun, enjoying ourselves for a ‘later’ a time which may rarely happen.  But if we do allow ourselves to have the fun time we have been putting off, we may find we ‘accidentally’ bump into opportunities which will create a happier, more enjoyable life in the long run.

 So, what I have learned from this experience is:

  1.  Make time to have some fun, yes real fun, every week.  (Hint, the definition of fun is doing something you enjoy J )
  2. While having fun, just let your usual responsibilities go (unless of course there arises some immediate need to respond to something).  Your responsibilites will be there for you any way. (Hint: If this bothers you too much, you can combine a few, a very few, tasks, in between the fun times.  But make sure that FUN is the major activity.  Another way to deal with this reluctance to have fun and leave responsibilities behind is to designate a specific time for the fun, knowing you will be going back to your responsibilities at a certain point.)
  3. Now this is the most amazing part of all.  Realize by allowing yourself to fully escape and have fun, you may actually come across something that will change your life!  You may discover a talent you’ve been ignoring, keeping on the back burner, or one that is consciously unknown, that will make a new, lucrative career for yourself.  You may discover something, unlock something inside of you that you never dreamed you had.  It may be an interest, a talent, an ability that will make your life so happy you will roll on the floor in delight, in satisfying laughter.  You may want to kick yourself for not using it before.  You may, in fact, amazingly learn how to transform the world!

Now isn’t that worth it?  What would make you totally happy?

Copyright © by Ellen Bergstrom, 2012

Let’s Create a Kinder World, Together

Like most people right now, I am still blown away, saddened and horrified by the recent shootings of so many people, mostly children, in the Connecticut school.  I am dazed when I imagine a kindergarten class, 5 year olds, being blown away by a maniac.   Most children of that age often have no concept, no frame of reference in our country, of the horrors of the violence that just happened or so we would like to think.  Mental health professionals of all kind have generally advised us all to protect our younger children from knowledge of such things.  Yet here it is, being thrown in their beautiful, young faces.  And as I write this, the horrors are spreading, often termed as ‘copy cats’.

We have perhaps one of the most violent societies in the world right now.  Our society values violence, competition, meanness, sarcasm, and more violence and give kudos for those who are the toughest.  While at the same time, those with hearts, with compassion and tears, those whose hearts break are laughed at as weak.  Is it a wonder why things have come to this?

I have worked in the mental health field for many years as well as having some years of training in healthcare professions.  I have seen a great deal of selfish and egotistical behavior amongst those who vowed to protect and assist others.  I have also seen great courage and compassion for others. In other words, we have the best and the worst amongst us and all of the rest of us somewhere in between.  The people of the world, and of this country, are searching for answers, for solutions to this problem of mass violence which has too often erupted without warning. Prior to the deaths of the innocent children and adults in Connecticut, I had a strong calling to inspire in others the hunger for Kindness rather than hate. Now I am more convinced than ever that it is needed. Kindness is not valued in our society.  Kindness is thought to be a weakness.  Kind people are thought to be somehow ‘different’ and not in a good way.  We want our boys to be tough and competitive and now, even our girls.  Let’s face it, many women are still strongly attracted to the bad boys kind of image in men. And many men continue with their tough, competitive ways, never showing a concern for others. And why not?  Isn’t that the image that our society is sending us?

Kindness is quite another thing.  I don’t pretend to be the kindest of people around. And I wasn’t raised that way either.  I come to it only because I believe it is the only thing left, the only hope for us.  Kindness is not a religion.  It is a way of being.  When such a thing as Kindness, which is now thought of at best as an afterthought, becomes a cool, wonderful, fantastic way of being, it will drastically change our society, in fact, our World.  It is not a farfetched idea.  For example, who would’ve thought a few poor boys from Liverpool (The Beatles) could impact the world as they did, and in fact are still doing so. 

My aim is to learn, with you, and with as many that will join with me, to forgive the past, let go of those negative ways that don’t work anymore, and to learn new ways of loving, caring, supporting each other.  In other words, to learn how to be Kind. We must learn that we are indeed all One, and that when we harm another, it is exactly like harming our own bodies, our own selves.

I am proposing the following guidelines to begin this journey, the Kindness Journey.  First we must recognize the disingenuous within ourselves.  In other words, we must learn, and allow ourselves to believe that we have taken on negative traits ourselves and thus have harmed others.  This can be done in an honest, private reflection, in a session with a lightworker who is also a life coach, or even in a group whose purpose is to transform each other. 

Along with this, once acknowledging the negativity we have ourselves allowed within, we must release it, thus asking forgiveness and allow the light to enter those dark crevices left behind. 

Once that is done, we must then forgive others who have harmed us.  It is not necessary to condone the meanness and hate we received or allow it to remain in our lives and continue to harm us.  We just release it, including people who continue to try to harm us, let them go, and go about our business of creating a better life. 

The next process is to be open to what comes to us next.  Yes, by following this process, exciting, wonderful things will begin to come into our lives.  When these things start to happen we often think it is an accident. These are not accidents.  We have allowed it all to happen because we released our negative feelings and allowed the light to come to us.

With more and more people allowing light into them, the world will become happier and more joyful for all.  We will learn better how to contend with those we now deem as mentally ill or violent.  We will learn how to teach them healing while we protect ourselves from violence.

May the light be with you!

 

Copyright by Ellen Bergstrom, Greenbridge 2012.

Ellen Bergstrom – Greenbridge is a Lightworker and a seasoned Witch.  She has over 15 years’ experience in as a mental health professional, is a licensed social worker, and has also extensive training and experience in alternative therapies and lightwork.

If you wish a private session, she may be contacted by email: greenbridge36@hotmail.com or Phone: 810-845-6766. 

KINDNESS MEANS HAPPINESS FOR YOU

Although this time of year, has traditionally been associated with fun, merriment, the joy of giving and receiving, and holiday gatherings with big dinners and drinking, for many it is the beginning of a time of deep sadness and regret. It seems we have had almost a week of gray days with little to no sunshine and cool or cold, damp weather here in Michigan and neighboring areas. Often that triggers sadness, even ‘clinical depression’ in many people. This is the time of year that many will have what has been termed, ‘seasonal affective disorder’. And add to that, the many negative thoughts people have around this time of year, such as meeting with family they often avoid except for the Holidays. And this year we have something else as well, the Mayan calendar ending at December 21, 2012. There have been so many fears associated with this, though many will openly react with laughter, saying they don’t believe in that sort of thing, they often harbor secret fears about it. For others, their auspiciousness towards life in general may intensify. Those who are greedy and selfish, may find their greed intensifying, hoarding and guarding their own possessions. Some may even be involved in criminal activities of theft and burglaries. All of this often can even result in increase of violent behaviors.
We can all, however, chose to feel how we wish to feel. Sometimes people feel they have a right to be angry, or sad, or whatever it is. And with that comes a very strong feeling of holding on to those emotions. For others, they have never even considered that they can truly chose their own feelings, their own emotions. Or perhaps they have never considered sharing with others, or those outside of a group they have selected. They are the ones who feel trapped, controlled by others or outside forces, whether it be the government, their own families, or …December 21, 2012.
If you feel you are not in charge of your feelings and your life, I won’t tell you that you are wrong. But I will tell you that you are partly wrong. I will tell you that you can learn to change how you feel, in fact, change your life completely.
First of all, you are right about forces you cannot control. You can’t control what others chose to think or do, how the planets move, the weather, etc, though there are people who say they can control these things. You can learn, though to make yourself happy, cheerful, filled with love and appreciation and truly enjoy your life. Without knowing you, I am not able to decide what it is you need to do first, where you need to start. But a good first step is to decide what it is you actually want. Many people go through their whole lives being tossed around and not even thinking they have the power to make that decision. In fact, they may even have admitted to themselves that they are controlled by others. There are also those who chose to do the controlling. They feel entitled to ‘make’ things the ‘right’ way, their way, through manipulating either in a passive-aggressive manner or even using outward hostility, anger or even violence. None of these people even know what they actually want.
I am one of many wiser than myself who feel we chose to come to Mother Earth to learn a specific thing or things. To develop it and then to share it with others. Unfortunately, when we are born, we forget what is was and have to spend a lot of time trying to remember it. At least that is the usual case. Once we learn what it is, we have to develop the skill, the ability. The next step is to share it with the world. Each of us is gifted with at least one thing and many of us have many more than just one gift.
That is it in a nutshell. No one will ever be happy until they do that.
We will have many challenges, false starts, false paths, difficult people to contend with throughout our lives. But if we are determined to bring happiness into our own lives by doing these things and sharing with others, no one can take that happiness away from us.
When we learn to be kind enough to ourselves to develop and share our own talents, we will only then realize what true kindness is and is not. Until then, our joys will only be temporary and we continue to chases an illusive high that never lasts. When we learn and do these things, we will gradually learn how to truly be happy.

Copyright by Ellen Bergstrom, 2012

If you would like help in determining your first steps to having a happy life, please contact me. I am a licensed social worker, have had over 20 years experience as a mental health professional, studied many alternative therapies, have been a practicing mystic and Witch since the 1980’s, and am a natural Empath.
Email: greenbridge36@hotmail.com Phone: 810-845-6766
Additionally, visit my Facebook group, The Kind Witch, and consider joining.

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